All-New, All-Eventful Avengers #111 – ‘We Will Find Out What’s to Know’

In the offices of the Daily Bugle, across the pool table that fills the staff break room, John Walker, the U.S. Agent stands and brandishes a cell phone. On the other side are editor-in-chief J. Jonah Jameson, and his son, the retired astronaut John Jameson. The title of this comic strip, “All-New, All-Eventful Avengers Presents… ‘We Will Find Out What’s to Know’,” is visible at the top of the image.

U.S. Agent promises that the cell phone, which he tosses on the pool table, contains all the information Jameson might need to destroy Tony Stark’s relationship with Iron Man (in the Phil Wrede Marvel Action Figure Universe, Iron Man’s true identity is a closely guarded secret). John asks his dad if this revelation is maybe a little too conveniently timed, but Jonah just waves John’s concerns off.

On the phone, Jonah and John see photos of Iron Man and the android Jocasta - who’s currently in a romantic relationship with Tony Stark - in a passionate embrace. Jonah is thrilled at the prospect of these photos, and before he leaves, the U.S. Agent promises that what’s on the phone is only a taste of the dirt he can share on the Avengers.

Off on Long Island, the site of Justin Hammer’s beachfront mansion and his fall formal event, the Hammer Gala, Kate Bishop, Black Widow, and the Falcon keep a close watch on the skies for the enemies who made their appearance in the previous comic strip. Kate confuses the noise of the Falcon soaring overhead with that of the Hobgoblin.

Kate asks the Black Widow how she can tell the difference between the various sounds of friends and foes overhead, and the Widow chalks it up to practice. Off in the distance, the Hobgoblin chuckles to himself and observes the action on the ground.

A HYDRA agent fires his shotgun at Rage, but the gunfire bounces off Rage’s super-tough skin. Rage advances and punches the HYDRA agent off his feet, calling him a “punk.”

A member of the Tracksuit Mafia - his identity hidden behind a black ski mask - attempts to hold up an elderly couple at the point of his machete. Luis, in his fully powered-up Living Lightning form, lands on the ground and interrupts the crime. When the criminal attempts to attack him, the electricity streaming through Luis’ body travels up the machete blade and electrocutes the Tracksuit Mafioso.

Another member of the Tracksuit Mafia rushes at Justin Hammer’s mansion and throws a molotov cocktail at it, complaining about how huge, ugly mansions destroy the view of the beach and its access for regular people.

Jocasta approaches the vandal, and reluctantly agrees with the point he makes, though not with the way he’s choosing to express himself. He shoots her in the back, and the bullets bounce off her metal body. Before uppercutting him into next week, Jocasta suggests that he might make common cause with a historic preservation society, or even an HOA, to more appropriately fight back against the destructive forces of development.

While all this action has been going on, the Shocker has been quietly approaching the Hammer mansion from yet another angle, and uses the energy created by his force gauntlets to blow a hole right through the mansion’s wall. Before he can take a step closer - unfortunately for him - his activity is interrupted by Corsair, leader of the new hot superhero team on the block, the Starjammers!

The credits for the comic strip, citing the Unsplash users whose photographs were the background art, the ownership of Marvel by Disney, the creation of Marvel characters by actual human beings, and the figure photography/script/lettering by me, Phil Wrede.

The Hammer Gala has turned from a formal celebration into quite the raucous affair, since the last time we visited it! Villains galore are crashing the party! I wonder if Justin Hammer is enjoying watching the Avengers struggle to defend his home enough to offset the heartache he’s surely feeling as his property falls under attack? Maybe we’ll find out, one of these weeks!

It’s not enough that the party’s turning into a mess, of course, because we’ll also have to contend with whatever fallout follows the U.S. Agent’s sudden (yet inevitable?) betrayal of the Avengers to longtime superhero critic, J. Jonah Jameson! As much as we try to avoid giving billionaires undue credit here in the Phil Wrede Marvel Action Figure Comic Universe, I think Tony Stark deserves some real credit for managing to keep his secret identity under wraps from most of his fellow Avengers, and for executing his plan to trick the Daily Bugle/wreck some of Jameson’s strained credibility. Way to keep your eye on the prize, Tony!

Not that it’s the best use of any billionaire’s time to try and screw with the free press, generally, but Jonah dances with the devil in the pale moonlight often enough that he should know the’ll get burned, from time to time!

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